RW81 - A Vest Full of Diamonds

This week, Dan and John talk about

  • Taking his daughter to Washington DC (Children)
  • Sentimentality about physical objects (Objects)
  • John losing his first passport (Objects)
  • The garbage man with a Polaroid collection (Stories)
  • Dan selling comic books (Comics)
  • John broke his phone (Technology)
  • John’s reverse bucket list (Personality)

The show title refers to John's reverse bucket list and the possibility that he will disappear on a container ship with a vest full of diamonds.

John has a lot going on every day now, just trying to keep it all going and keep the ducks all lined up. Maybe he was less in a lull before than he let on and now it is all happening.

It was John’s 49:s birthday yesterday on September 13th.

Today is John’s last official Seafair duty of the summer where he is going to knight 20 people who all were Seafair volunteers, like the head of the clowns and the head of the pirates. He will give them all their ribbon. Everybody likes being knighted!

Sponsor: Brooklinen

Some sheets out there cost $1500 because they are made out of Himalayan goat linen. It seems like the type of thing that rich people do because they don’t know anymore what money is worth and they are just blowing money out! Still, there is no reason for normal people to sleep on 60/40 cotton blend garbage sheets! You are spending 1/3 of your life in bed and John is even going to murder the bugler and spend the rest of his life in bed! He is podcasting from bed right now and his sheets have nothing deluxe about them, but he deserves it! John doesn’t have a TV in his bedroom because you are not supposed to. He needs blackout curtains in this room.

Sponsor: Blue Apron

Regenerative Farming is like Thor’s goats. Every night he would kill the goats and eat them, but as long as you would leave the bones, he can raise them back up to life, ready to be eaten the next day.

Blue Apron recipes are supposed to be for two meals, but John always eats large portions because he eats infrequently. John is more of a feast or famine type of feeder, he doesn’t just graze all day like a cow, but he is out there and he either got it or he don’t got it. He will eat an entire Blue Apron! He is in touch with his Neanderthal person and his family has probably more Neanderthal genes (or whatever that special sauce is) than most people, because they come from that land and some genetic testing has revealed signs of it. For a long time we thought that the Neanderthals were a more primitive version of Hominoid, but they are not! They had necklaces and they were making tools and they were just slightly different from the other kind of people. They probably got driven out because Homo Sapiens were such a vermin. Neanderthals were a little bit slower moving, thoughtful cold-weather beasts, like large ents or trolls.

John has spread his Blue Aprons around his family, so his mom and his daughter’s mother use them and everyone cooks them slightly differently. After having used them for a long time, they have graduated to slightly modifying them to their own taste, which is in a way kind of what their mission was: They want to get people to start cooking using a variety of ingredients and learning what those ingredients are and do. Then it just evolves from there, because you know from past Blue Aprons what you like and how you like it. It has become a lively part of their family process. For example John would typically not make fish at home without any guidance. They are holding your hand and let you know that nobody really knows how to use nutmeg and they are giving you a little spice package that is going to help you discover these flavors.

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